February 2012
2 tags
Babysitting
“Can we ride our bikes? It is Beeeaaauuutttiiifffuuullll outside!” -Piper (3)
4 tags
5 tags
3 tags
1 tag
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Replacements for 'Cool Story, Bro' →
10knotes:
Fascinating discourse, chum
Riveting fable, comrade
Intriguing anecdote, brethren
Perpetuating argument, colleague
Sweet saga, yo
Waste of time, jerk
Spellbinding reiteration there, my chummy
Phantasmagorical novelization, oh great one
Interesting intellect, imbecile
Trepidating bore, fetus
Ballin’ gossip, dawg