You know when I want to shoot a cat, things are...
It got real.
friends: flawless skin, amazing hair, beautiful eyes, skinny, perfect nose
me: deformed fish
Anonymous asked: Dear Anyone..
I was desperate to touch God because I had come to the conclusion that all flesh...– Misty Edwards (via romanticcatholicism)
I'm done with the fetal-position-pit-in-my-stomach...
This really can’t be happening.
imthedad: I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals
I wish I could just negotiate with the spiders in...
Me: Okay well I really hate killing you guys and I know that without you the world would be overrun with insects, so I love you and all, but I kind of really need to take a shower and I don't wanna drown you or have you panic and bite me.
Spider: No probs bro I'll just go hang around in that corner until you're done. By the way, your fan is getting really dirty, my cousin's been living in there and he's not so happy with the conditions.
Me: Oh that's okay I'll have it cleaned and just you can just tell him to move out until it's done.
Spider: Sure thing, man, I'll be over here until your shower's over.
You should be kissed. Every day, every hour, every minute.– “The Lucky One” Nicholas Sparks (via shininghime)
Satan: Let there be allergies