My tumblr has represented my emotions for the past, Year and a half? Two years? Looking at my archive I can see everything I was going through and my emotions through it. Maybe tumblr has been a good thing. :) not just something to suck up my time.. Haha. :)
So, I decided to decompress my year. So, where a better place to start than January?!
January: The start of a new year, with new aspirations, new hopes and a re-start.
After ferociously stalking my own tumblr and Facebook, This is my post of my January.
I started off my new year at the Gonzalez’s house. That was a great new year! Lots of fun with friends! :)
In early January, I found out that my Grandpa (Maternal) died. He wasn’t much of a grandpa. No calls or cards on my birthday, no cool stories or kisses on the cheek. No affection or love. What did that mean? That I had to go to Kansas with my Mom. No exception. I wasn’t gonna just stay home by myself (even though looking back, that is what I should have done…). I also had to tell my dad. My parents have been divorced for going on 6 years now, I believe.. separated for longer. I went over to my Dad’s house to tell him, because I thought I should and I knew that my mom wasn’t going to….
We sat on the couch with my step-mom in the recliner, and I told him. It wasn’t a big deal since he was basically dead to me anyways because of family drama that I don’t feel like explaining at the moment.. But, my step-mom didn’t know that. So, she told my Dad to hug me.. Which he doesn’t really do anyways. But I knew that this time he meant it. I started to cry because that was the longest hug, that I can remember, that he has ever given me. He didn’t know that I was crying because of that.. mostly because I hid it. My Dad has never been one for affection. He doesn’t really know how to show love. It’s a hard concept that I am not willing to explain right now….
Anyways, back to the rest of January. We got shipped off for Kansas on January 11th. While I was there, it was some of the most depressing time.. Why? Because I made myself sad. I missed my friends and there was nothing that was going to make me happy except to get me out of the house (my aunt’s house). It felt nice to get away, drive into town and explore a new place. I drove around with my mom for a little bit.. it was nice to get out and see everything (That was nothing….) around me. The service was a few days later. Nothing crazy.. Not even a funeral. He wanted a “service”.. Basically I got to see all of my cousins and other family members all together in one place, which was nice. :)
After all that was finished, we just went around to visit all of my family members since we hadn’t been back for a couple of years.
While we were there my sister called me and told me that my favorite Grandpa (paternal) had a stroke. He couldn’t remember how to spell his own name or how to use a t.v. remote(He is totally fine now.. still alive and kicking…). I had just about had it. Basically crying every night because I didn’t want to be there..
It would have been so much better if I brought someone with me, one of my friends.
We ended up coming home on the 21st of January. That same day, I came home to an entourage of family and friends that I basically call family. My favorite people were there to greet me.
That night I had a concert to go to, which was a wonderful welcome home!! I went to the All-American Rejects concert with my 3 best friends. Gabie, Josh and Kasey. That is a night that I will forever remember… It was Gabie and I’s first legitimate concert.
The ending of January was much nicer than the beginning.
In all, January taught me and showed me how loved and truly blessed I am with the people in my life. And also, not to take life for granted.. because It can end so quickly.
Pictures in order:
All-American Rejects concert,
Kasey, Gabie, Me and Josh after the concert,
Paternal G-pa driving us to the airport with Dinah as his co-pilot,
Signs that Kasey and Josh made me. :),
My Cousin Kylie and I.
It’s been starting to get really annoying. Maybe I should care less. I’m sick of caring and not even being acknowledged.
I really want a cat.
Don’t mind me.